I believe that we should value the time before change. The reason why I think this is because after sometime living away from my dad I realized the more I pushed away the unfiltered version of my life and hoped and prayed for it to come to an end and change, the more I felt rushed and unprepared. I would often realize that instead of this making me “look forward” to the future it didn't actually make me feel happy or content with how I felt at the end of the day. Although I had felt this way for a little while it was actually something simple and almost stupid sounding that made me start believing in valuing time before change.

I was enjoying my first couple months of summer break when I found myself bored and I decided to watch this random girls video on her upcoming goals. As I watched it there was the occasional predictable “workout more” and other generic goals. But then she said something about how she wanted to appreciate small little details and focus on the now instead of desiring new and future possibilities. At first I thought that was such a silly thought. I mean who would want to focus on every little small detail. But after a while of valuing time before change despite how stupid I thought it sounded I actually found myself being happier with myself and how I would feel daily. Of course no matter what I still had to deal with the past and acknowledge it and not filter it to some version that just makes me feel happy in that moment.

Even though this might seem like I'm just writing about appreciating time and specific moments before change on a deeper level it's almost like I want to come to terms with the regret I used to have about not appreciating living with my dad while I did. It's been years since we stopped living with him and I still see him on weekends and sometimes weekdays and I am very happy that we get to see him. But sometimes I still blame myself and I now realize how I must seem so ridiculous for blaming the five year old version of myself or the present version of myself for not remembering and savoring those little moments like flying a kite with my dad, him making me breakfast and picking me up from school. Small mundane moments that I used to beat myself up about for not remembering. Other ways I apply this is that whenever I am doing something with a friend that could be as simple as going to the grocery store I try to remember small details of that so that I can look back and be reminded of small things they said that made me laugh or important little details. A specific moment where I felt a change from believing in this was when I had just got back from a weekend with my dad. Instead of feeling rushed I felt like I got to appreciate lots of things that I did with my dad that used to sound boring to me before but now I find them fun and important to remember, And that is why I believe in valuing time before change.